Observations | SLT returns, Egypt, Kenya (for real)

MY APARTMENT – I just woke up from a two-and-a-half-hour 20 minute nap.

After experiencing the most regrettable combination of “The Green Mile” and “The Longest Yard,” I came back to the dorm to finish working my weekend on. I was a little tired, yes, and my booty hurt quite a bit from the downward hike. I was a little cranky, but really, nothing too bad.

However, I didn’t really know how cranky I was. The grumpiness, now added to hefty doses of tiredness and sore-butt syndrome, increased, and my patience wore very thin. I felt like yelling at students whenever they asked me anything. I didn’t, mind you, but still, I wanted to.

I came back to the dorm after work and decided to lay down, if only for a few minutes. Two hours later, I woke up, shook off the grog, and felt like a new man.

Elvin’s theory is that I suffered from mild dehydration yesterday, and my “sickness” I felt was in fact a lack of fluid in me. I can definitely buy that – on the 10km hike, I only drank a 500ml Nalgene bottle’s worth of water. The sun and heat alone made me sweat about 724ml, plus the whole walking up and down Satan’s hill.

The moral of the story: DRINK WATER. A camelback is currently en route to me, so that’ll help on the next hikes…

(…by the way, now scheduled for the next 2 Sundays. *Sigh*)

Three more observations:

1. Do not taunt SLT. The Social-Life Terminator hasn’t been in the news lately, causing many to wonder if he’s in repair, in refurbishing, or out of commission. Well, wonder no more, readers – SLT is still on the strike.

Latest adventure: A (grumpy) SLT was scolded by his flagball team captain, Luca*, for not wanting to partake in a post-killer-hike flagball all-star game. SLT refused because a) he did not feel up to it, b) he is done caring about flagball, c) he felt it would just be another opportunity for his subjects to critique him on his usage of such horrible vulgarities like “darn” and “gosh”, and d) because it would be all (5) staff vs. students.

SLT did not like the odds. SLT was called a pansy by Luca*. SLT does not like being called a pansy. SLT was taunted.

SLT Rule #1: Do not taunt SLT.

The next day, Three students – Luca* among them – was heard running down the halls, yelling at the top of his lungs. Although SLT was informed by him later that it was excusable (because he was on his way to class), SLT decided to take action. He raised the typical punishment for this crime from pushups and a warning to 3 days dorm-bound.

Do not challenge SLT.

2. I’m going to Egypt… ok, I can’t now… now I can… now I’m… ok I am after all… Through patience and prayer, I might have swerved a possible major setback in my goal of going to Egypt this Christmas. This week, my traveling partner, Lauran, and his wife Arlene announced they were pregnant with their second child. Awesome because their first is the precise copy of an angel, but bad because he knew he needed to stay with her now.

Lauran came to me and told me he thought he’d leave Egypt to come back home to Kenya on the 25^th, not the 30^th. Granted, I understand – who wouldn’t want to spend Christmas with their family, especially when they’re expecting another member. But that would definitely throw off my plan, already cut down from 14 days to 11 or 12 (because of traveling and Sabbaths).

On Sunday, then, I spent a lot of time thinking, wondering what I’d do in this case. Would my parents allow me to stay an extra couple of days alone? Would I have to come back with Lauran? Would this throw off my plans for my trip? I gave it to God and prayed he’d take care of it.

However, before I’d even had the chance to talk to my family, I got the best bad-news ever: Lauran checked on our airlines and found there were no open return flights from the 24^th to the 28^th! Saved!

Again, we’ve still got a ways to go. We need to somehow get accommodations in Egypt so we can have a request sent by them to the Filipino embassy. From there, we’ll have to wait on Lauran’s visa to buy our airline tickets, held until the 6^th of December. And I still am trying to plan out exactly how to get around and what we’ll do. But one miracle down yet!

3. SLT cannot avoid the coup d’etat. In all seriousness, though, it could get a little dangerous here in Kenya. On November 21^st, the country will be having a nation-wide referendum for updates on the constitution. It’s expected to be a big enough deal for the country that demonstrations going on in Nairobi could flare up and turn into riots.

The U.S. government is telling its citizens to register with the embassy so they’ll be informed about what to do if this seemingly mild vote goes wild, as it very well could. Maxwell Academy is far enough outside central Nairobi that if riots were to happen, we probably wouldn’t be touched. Nonetheless, we’re exercising great care and concern here, and all of us are keeping watchful eyes on the vote.

I have no doubt either nothing will happen, or if it does, it won’t come close to where I am. However, I still ask you keep me, my kids, and our school in your prayers for the next few weeks. It could become a troubled time soon, and we need all the help we can get. Thanks.

Ok, I think I’m going to get some rest. All that napping this afternoon wore me out.

-cw

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent... or presumed innocent.

PSA | If you want to really freak someone out...

MY APARTMENT - As Halloween night is about to go down at home, just a super-comforting, calm observation from the Family Media Guide.

[According to Media Data Corp's research,] MDC found that the most popular pain inducer is impalement – with 419 counts, or nearly 25 percent of the 1,734 total instances. The runners-up are protruding object at 313 and bite injury at 305.

As scary and gross as the subject matter is, this is a really great read. Especially if it's Halloween night, and you hear a knock on your door...

-cw

myVote™ | Real headline of the day: "[Venezuelan President] Chavez: Halloween part of U.S. culture of terror"

MY APARTMENT - When you're a South American dictator scared out of your mind about getting ousted by the U.S. government, you start going a little... "loco."

Like saying that the real American enemy is a carved pumpkin.

In one odd incident a week ago, authorities found more than a dozen jack-o'-lanterns left in spots around Caracas bearing anti-government messages and what appeared to be bomb-like fuses... Paper skeletons bearing anti-Chavez messages also have appeared in spots across Caracas recently, and government officials have blamed sectors of the opposition with aiming to create chaos.

myVote™: When you're the dictator of a country that many think will be the next the US goes to war with, you should always shut your mouth. Especially when it comes to Halloween. Bush loves his candy.

-cw

Neato | The word according to Snoop, New White-Guy Translation

BOYS' DEAN'S OFFICE - For anyone who's ever wondered what the crap rappers are talking about in their songs, here is your chance to finally learn.

Snoop Dogg: On and on and on and on we go
I'll dip you if you want me to
You see I really wanna get a little front wit you, bigidy bump wit you

White guy: She won't stop
Do you want to try chewing tobacco?
I want you to rear end me with your automobile.

Ok, now that that's solved: What does it mean to have "dumps like a truck?"

-cw

Loco | Breaking News: Tooth Fairy not accepting teeth anymore. Finds it gross, biohazardous "body parts."

MY APARTMENT - Oh c'mon...

"I asked the surgeon for the teeth and was refused. I was told teeth were now classed as body parts and had to be disposed of by the hospital"I explained that my daughter had been excited at the prospect of getting money from the tooth fairy but she just shrugged and walked away."

The only consolation was that it was a British hospital, so the bodily specimins will probably be recycled to give a different Brit a completely ugly grill.

-cw

Observations | Hiking, Snow, Hick Tunes

MY APARTMENT – Still another hour and a half until kickoff.

Probably the hardest part of being a Chiefs fan on another continent is the horrible time difference that makes listening to games hardly bearable. Valerie and I thought the game began at 3pm (CST), so we could listen from 11pm to 2am. We made “reservations” to hang out at the Hartzell’s house so Val, cursed with a computer without a sound card, could listen to the victory.

However, I failed to remember the Daylight Savings Time. Correct kickoff, Africa time: Midnight.

So here I am, sitting at my computer, waiting, waiting, and waiting still for the game to begin. I’m going to be so wasted tomorrow morning for dorm worship. Ah well, the price to pay to be obsessed!

Three Observations

1. A hill kicked my butt. Every year, MAA takes a group of students up to Mount Kenya, the tallest mountain in the country, for a couple-day campout and climb to the top. The SMs are traditionally among the mountaineers, and this year, no exception. We’re planning on making our way to the peak for the February hike along with the students.

But before we do, we have to train by going on crack-of-dawn (8am) hikes most Sundays. Today was the first of those hikes. So at 8:30am, we hopped onto school vehicles, drove out to a hill in the middle of nowhere, and began the hike from hell.

Right off the bat, we had to go down the hill. While this seems like a welcomed warm-up, it was, by no means, that. We knew that what goes down must come back up, after we exhausted ourselves on the 5km walk to the low-point of the hill. Then, after putting all that strain on our butts, we had to turn around and trudge back up another 5km, this time straining the calves.

A solid 2 hours later, we boarded the bus again, grateful for the ride back to MAA. I was hot, sweaty, sun-burnt, achy… and satisfied with the exercise I’d gotten for the day. I think we’re off next Sunday, and our next hike will be the 13th. Good chance to rest a while and start it all back up. I’m excited; the goal will definitely justify the work I’m putting into it.

Now, where did I put that aspirin…

2. I still hate the snow, but… I’ve been talking to my parents and uncle lately about our annual ski-trip to Breckenridge, Colorado, and I’ve come to realize something; I’m not going to see snow for a year. At all.

Oh, there’s some snow here – on top of Mount Kilimanjaro, where Elvin, Valerie, and other MAA staff will be for Christmas break. But I’ll be far away, hanging out on the Red Sea with Pyramids in Egypt. Otherwise, there’s none, anywhere.

I’m not missing it, mind you, and I won’t miss it, no matter what. I loath every flake that falls from the sky, especially when driving a Volkswagen Beetle – you feel every inch of ice. But how strange, that something I’ve grown up around won’t be here. At all. Weird.

3. And speaking of that… What about country music? I’m not going to be able to hear any country music for another 6 months, huh? This might not seem to a big deal to you, but to a guy who’s having problems coming up with a third point for his Three Observations thing, it’s a valid enough thought to merit a point, right?

Ok, I think I'm done here. I've got a couple more hours of pregame to listen to. Let me, before I go, again say hello to everyone at home. I miss you all, I love you, and I pray that you're keeping me in your prayers.

And again, let me reiterate: chrisw@maxwellsda.org. It's not just a hint anymore, it's the new "in-phrase." Rumor has it that all the cool kids in New York and LA are saying it to all their friends.

How about this: next time someone sneezes, instead of saying "God bless you," say "chrisw@maxwellsda.org." That way, it serves a dual purpose. If enough people do it, it'll totally be accepted.

I’M OUT!

-cw

Observations | THE COMEBACK EDITION

BOYS’ DEAN’S OFFICE – So the curse of “Chris sucking at flagball” hasn’t wore off.

After qualifying for the MAA Flagball Playoffs with a 2-5-1 record, we lost in our first and only game, to the (gross) Broncos team. The loss was especially painful because we’d dropped both games to them, with close margins, but this game, we got smoked. Not even close.

My biggest complaint about this season was the horrible refereeing that took place when we were to play. Only the obvious, you’ve-gotta-call-that-since-my-teammate-is-bleeding penalties were noted by refs. Elvin felt that the lack of fairness had something to do with 3 faculty members being on the same team, and I’d agree. While I had the honor of listening to students drop vulgarities all over the playing field, I got nailed with a 10 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for yelling “OH MY GOSH, YOU’RE NOT GONNA CALL THAT EITHER?” after my teammate was straight-up shoved over on a pass rush. And I got lectured by a student about not using “profanity.” (Is “gosh” profanity? I could have said a lot worse…) And then that student, my teammate, tattled to the dean, my boss, about my “cursing” on the flagball field. And then I got harassed for the next few days for saying “choice words.”

By students that feel that the N-word is appropriate for everyday, classroom use.

Ah well. Coulda been worse.

Three Observations:

1. I could definitely feel the love… and see it… and hear it… Tuesday’s town trip wasn’t too eventful, again. We ran into town and picked up some school supplies from Sarit Center, and tested out a new eatery, Restaurant Havana. (myVote™: They had tostones. The food was overpriced, the ambience was mundane, and the servers were incompetent. But they did have tostones… A-.) Yet another boring, we’re-just-going-into-Nairobi-again town trip.

However, there was one thing we tried out, different from ever before: the Snake Park. Right off the Museum Hill roundabout sits this reptile-zoo, exhibiting the leeeezards and slithery things of the country. While Valerie and Elvin skipped from one creepy-crawler to the next, Honey and I just stayed back and… appreciated the little beats from a safe distance.

Little did we know, however, that we were to see a more horrifying sight than any other from the day. We walked past the turtle area, glancing at the little guys running around, when suddenly, Honey turned the opposite way she was facing, closed her eyes, and breathed “Oh, oh… look.”

I peaked behind her to see two turtles near each other. The back one looked like he had partially climbed on top of the other, and he was panting with his mouth open…

It took me a solid 10 seconds to get what “they” were doing.

Of course, as disgusting as it was, we had to stand there and watch for another 10 minutes, cracking jokes the whole time. I have (rated R) pictures, with my fellow staff looking in on the tortoise sex-fest, red-faced and laughing at the sight. For the sake of my younger readers, I won’t be posting the pictures. But if you email me, requesting them…

2. But the question is, can I write enough of these to make into a book? You might have noticed the 5 “Worship” posts I did this week. As I explained as a preface to each of them, every staff member is assigned to lead a week’s worth of staff worships, both semesters. This week, Pastor Webb was the one up to bat.

I’d known about this week since the very beginning of the year, and still, I procrastinated the writing of them until the morning of the worship. Luckily, I hadn’t delayed in my theme. My worships looked into the 5 ways that God reveals himself to us: through His nature, His Son, His providing, His law, and His word. Even though I’d waited until literally 10 minutes before our meeting was to start to finish, I still feel like I did a pretty good job with my thoughts.

When I was first bouncing around the idea of preaching a sermon here, I’d made the mistake of telling it to Elvin. He’s been “encouraging” me to really volunteer for it and make it happen. While I still feel like it’s not really going to happen, why not? I’ve talked in front of the guys a million times, and thrice in front of the ladies. Now the faculty have heard me talk to them. Is it really time? Hmmm…

3. Leg-go my Egg-o. While I was undoubtedly napping or doing something useless online on Thursday, Valerie went with the Thomas’ on their weekly trip into the game park. While they were there, they had a great time thieving wild animals of their young… kind of.

Apparently, in the last few weeks, they’d found some abandoned ostrich nests with eggs in them, and they were tired of going past them and not getting any. So this last Thursday, Val and Mrs. Thomas hopped out of the car into the wild (where there were probably a million and a half lions watching and salivating), grabbed handfuls of eggs, and ran back in the vehicle. You’ve heard of stealing candy from a baby? Well, this was stealing babies from a mama. Much more risk.

They brought the eggs (a little narrower than a football, but much shorter in length) back to campus and excitedly called up Elvin and me on the phone, offering us one of their prized captures. We ran over to their house to help out with the emptying-eggs process.

It’s legal to bring ostrich eggs back into the ‘States – just crazy. And gross, if they crack open on the flight. So to minimize nastiness, we take an electric drill, put a small hole in one end, then a larger hole in the other. Then we tilt it over onto the big-hole end and empty out all the nasty on the inside. Once all of that is out, rinse out the little guy, pull out the membrane/skin on the inside of the egg, add some bleach-water to radically improve the scent, and walla! Ostritch Egg!

The first time I saw this done, it didn’t go as textbook-well as I described. We drilled the top of the egg and watched it spout yellow, rotten-scented nasty out its top. The, when the big hole was drilled and we tried to drain it out, it came out it brown, yellow, and sometimes red clumps into the bucket underneath us. And the smell, sweet mercy! Think of the most rotten eggs you’ve ever sniffed in your life, and triple it. It as a miracle I didn’t throw up in my own mouth.

Another time, we emptied everything out and felt there was still something in it. We peek in and saw that there was a partially-developed ostrich chick, maybe an inch and a half long, on the inside. Mr. Thomas, the adventurer he is, pulled out the body parts, piece by piece, with a pair of hemostats.

On the very next egg, there was a chick so big that they had to break it open to see. It was almost full-aged, ready to hatch. When we looked at it, we could see its beak, it’s legs, its wings – even a few hairs that looked to become feathers on day. Sad…

My egg went almost perfectly. We emptied it out without flaw (and hardly any stench), I cleaned it out, and now, it’s sitting on my shelf, thanking me for giving it an inside-out bath. Thanks, Val, for the great souvenir!

I apologize for not doing a very good job of keeping my blog update in the last week, at least with Observations and other things (besides links). I was very distracted by the worship thoughts I had to do. I’ll definitely do better from here on :) Miss you all. I’m begging you; please, please, please, keep emailing me! Bye!

-cw

Neato | I've ALWAYS been brilliant.

BOYS' DEAN'S OFFICE - I completely forgot about this story, and was reminded about it while chatting with my mom this afternoon.

Anyways, I was reminded of a time when you were about 5 or 6 yrs. old. In Russell. do you remember Mrs. Cook?... well she was having class that day and she went around asking all the kids about Halloween, and as usual, you were always ahead of yourself... you kept raising your hand, and she just ignored you on purpose, because she said you always had something just to clever to say...anyways, everyone said what they thought Halloween was about, candy, customs, and everything else, so she just went on and on letting everybody talk before you, and finally she said: "ok Chris, what do you thing Halloween is about"? and guess what you said: “It’s a pagan holiday sponsor by the American Dental Association" she said she just stood there frozen, because this was just what she was afraid you would come up with! So funny, do you remember that? You traumatized that poor teacher! She called me at home just to tell me that! The whole school staff just thought it was so funny... When I tell people that story, they always say, "Yeah, that's Chris all the way."

Such a smart kid, since the very beginning.

-cw

PSA | Making up for lost time.

BOYS' DEAN'S OFFICE - Back posts! Sorry I've been so bad lately,

• Sat. Night - Observations | Magadi, "The Gods," and Egypt
• Sunday - Observations | SPECIAL FIRST-QUARTER EDITION

More to come for the week!

-cw

Worship | Reporting from the King's Court...

Every day at 8:30am, Maxwell staff spend a few minutes together worshiping the Lord. Every week, a different faculty member is assigned to the week's worships. This week, it's "Mr. Webb's" turn. I'll be publishing my worship thoughts to the site every morning (hopefully). Today's worship: God reveals his self to us through His word.

STAFF MEETING ROOM - There are 3 major signs of good journalism: solid fundamentals, clarity, and accuracy. Across the globe, people in my future field are preached to and preached to again about making these the 3 points that govern our lives. An ok writer does one really well, a good one, perhaps to. But only the best of the best, the cream of the crop, will have mastered all three.

Stephen Glass, who worked for The New Republic from 1995-1998, was a young man who came incredibly close to the trifecta. His writing fundamentals were second to none – his co-workers at TNR loved editing his articles. His grammar was perfect, his composition flawless, and his usage, across the board, was on par with some of the great writers of the last few decades.

And his clarity, brilliant. Glass had the ability to take a scene like the Republican National Convention and describe it, leaving you feeling like you’d just walked through it yourself. His sentences would meander at a slow pace, purposely, not to confuse the reader, but he wasn’t bland, by no means. He’d take his audience with him one direction, then pull the mat from under them, leaving them momentarily confused, then giving way to pure intrigue. Glass was as close to being a master as anyone.

But, on May 8^th, 1998, Stephen Glass was fired from The New Republic. His crime: fabricating a recent article. Fact-checking on his piece “Hack Heaven” had proven to be an impossible task, as the only source to check facts off of was the journalist’s own notes. The New Republic had to act fast to save face, and Glass was immediately released from the magazine because of his alleged forgeries.

Harsh? Accusations of inaccurate pieces can destroy any publication – remember the New York Times? – and TNR had to do what it had to do. It looked, from the outside, like a very aggressive reaction by the paper. But when news of Glass’s other phony pieces came out, it explained a whole lot more.

In a nutshell, Stephen Glass, the almost-master who had nailed down fundamentals and clarity, forgot the most important characteristic of good writing: accuracy. Of the 41 articles he’d written for TNR in 3 years, 6 had been completely fabricated, 21 had been partly, and many more were still suspected. Glass had smashed the cardinal rule of journalism, and since his firing in 1998, his only work in the field have been a few, isolated free-lance articles (about ethics in journalism, ironically).

Oh, and he got paid 6-figures to write a “fictional” book about a journalist named Stephen Glass who fabricated over half of his professional articles. And he was given a hefty royalty when that book was made into a movie, Shattered Glass. But the name Stephen Glass is stained now, and without a doubt, he will never work in journalism again.

Isn’t it nice to know we’re not in the same situation with our ultimate handbook? The Bible’s President/CEO/editor-in-chief, God, has released a statement in His book, verifying that everything we will read is accurate.

¹⁶Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another--showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way.

¹⁷Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

His word is here to guide us, to tell us what he likes, to tell us what he doesn’t, to tell us what he expects, to tell us what he wants for us. He reveals his traits, his character, his personality, not so we’ll know he’s willing to destroy a country if it displeases him, but so we’ll know him. He wants to be close to us, and since he can’t (or won’t) appear physically in front of us, he does it the closest way he can: through his word.

Ok, so God dictated how much he loves us; how do we know the reporting was accurate. Scripture again verifies this fact.

²¹It's not something concocted in the human heart. Prophecy [and let me expand that to everything else in the Word] resulted when the Holy Spirit himself prompted men and women to speak God's Word. (2 Peter 1:21)

He’s fact-checked what was written, and it has his stamp-of-approval; the “embedded reporters” who spent time in the Lord’s presence got the written description of our Heavenly Father dead-on. His word is arguably the best way that our God has revealed to us who he is. Are we reading it?

Today, as the Sabbath nears, I challenge you to take some extra time to look at the part-biography/part-autobiography of our Father. It’s calming, it’s enlightening, it’s accurate. And it’s a good read.

-cw

Kudos | College Cost Calculator

MY APARTMENT - Way to be for CNN Money.com. They've developed an interesting way to check on tuition prices across the US.

Notable schools*

1. Southwestern Adventist University (Keene, TX) - $ 11,568
2. Atlantic Union College (Lancaster, MA) - $12,000
3. Southern Adventist University (Collegedale, TN) - $ 12,990
4. Union College (Lincoln, NE) - $ 13,380
5. Andrews University (Berrien Springs, MI) - $ 15,050
6. Columbia Union College (Tacoma, MD) - $15,433
7. Walla Walla College (College Place, WA) - $17,655
8. Pacific Union College (Angwin, CA) - $ 17,934
9. George Washington University (Washington, D.C.) - $36,400

-cw

*Prices listed are only tuition, based upon cnnmoney.com. La Sierra University and Loma Linda University not listed on the site. Data accurate for Winter 2005.

Neato | They've reached the apex: the new iPod/Treo/Phone

MY APARTMENT - Finally, Palm and Apple have combined to form one all-encompassing device, capable of making cell calls, organizing information, and listening to great tunes.

Despite its basic lack of structural integrity, this device combines the best of the two most popular gadgets in the world.

Just amazing. Can't wait to see the iPod Video/Motorola Razor/XBox 360/Gilette Electric Razor coming out soon.

-cw

Loco | 162 wives down; where's #163?

MY APARTMENT - P.I.M.P. (acronym) 1. Playaz Illegally Marketing Prostitutes, 2. Player Into Making Progress, 3. this guy.

He told a local newspaper: "I'm still very popular with the ladies. At the moment there are two I could choose from... and I've heard one of my ex-wives also wants me back."

I applaud you, Mr. Ilincic. I can't pronounce your name, but I applaud you all the same.

-cw

Neato | Women, explained in mathematics

MY APARTMENT - My Uncle David sent this little golden nugget.

Awesome.

-cw

Worship | The speeding ticket that wasn't (but almost was)

Every day at 8:30am, Maxwell staff spend a few minutes together worshiping the Lord. Every week, a different faculty member is assigned to the week's worships. This week, it's "Mr. Webb's" turn. I'll be publishing my worship thoughts to the site every morning (hopefully). Today's worship: God reveals his self to us through His law.

STAFF MEETING ROOM - I was running late.

It was the beginning of the summer after I graduated, and I hadn’t a job. At all. I did have a job the week before, but my boss, a born-again Nazi, didn’t feel it necessary to train me in how to clean and refurbish electronics. “You’ll figure it out, eventually,” he’d said.

Well, at the end of two weeks, I hadn’t figured it out. I’d broken VCRs, ruined car CD player pickups, and zapped myself countless times on televisions. My boss called me into his office, lectured me on how I should have learned on my own how to do something he promised to teach me in my interview, and let me go… permanently. My head, still smoking from the jolt of a TV, seemed to mirror my feelings.

But thankfully, it was the beginning of summer, and I still had time to look for a quick job. I explored the job market in Junction City, Kansas, finding few opportunities. Mowing the lawn at my old academy was an option, as was working grounds at the hospital. While those two options would work, I kept looking, praying for the diamond-in-the-rough job that no one had applied for.

And then, I found it. Cracker Barrel, one of my family’s favorite restaurants, was looking for servers, and I jumped at the chance. I called them up and was surprised to hear that they could interview me right then. An applicant hadn’t shown up, and they had an open spot. “Drive over as quickly as you can,” they’d said.

And I did. I hopped in my Batmobile, my 1998 red Volkswagen New Beetle, and dashed towards the restaurant. I dodged around two-lane traffic, accelerated on yellow lights, and performed rolling “California stops” on every Stop sign I saw. Time was running out…

As I turned onto the last road, I could see my goal up ahead. I rushed down the street and was about ready to pull into the parking lot when I saw a sight that made my skin crawl: there, in my rearview mirror, red and blue flashing lights. I slammed my forehead against the steering wheel and pulled over to the side of the road. It was only then I noticed the road sign, halfway behind a bush, laughing in front of me: Speed limit enforced by radar.

Long story short, I had only been going 7 miles over the 20mph speed limit, and I got off with a warning. I was late for the interview, but it didn’t matter. They had already found the person they wanted and were simply going through the motions with me. I pulled myself off my chair, shook the managers hand, and headed for the car with my double whammy – 0 jobs, 1 almost-ticket.

Was I in the wrong with driving 27mph down the road? It depends on what road I was on. Down a normal city street, I’m perfectly obeying the law. Down my street I got nailed on, going way too fast. Down the highway, I’ll get pulled over for going too slow. It’s the same speed, but different outcomes.

How was it that I broke the law, but the other 99% of drivers out there didn’t? They probably felt, instinctively, that this was a slower road. Most of the traffic eked along, and our surroundings were wide-open, so a cop could pop out of his hiding place to hit you with a penalty. Had I not been in a hurry, had I had my mind on the road and not on other things, there never would have been any trouble.

Built in all of us is an automatic-speed limit detector, put in by God. It doesn’t matter if you’re from Kansas or Kenya, Manhattan or Micronesia, you still feel the same law, right and wrong. God instructs all men with the law he placed on their hearts

¹⁴When outsiders who have never heard of God's law follow it more or less by instinct, they confirm its truth by their obedience.

¹⁵They show that God's law is not something alien, imposed on us from without, but woven into the very fabric of our creation. There is something deep within them that echoes God's yes and no, right and wrong. (Romans 2:14-15)

God has given us a built-in lawbook. If we hang onto it, we’ll benefit greatly. Or as it’s written in Job 27:6,

⁶I'm holding fast to my integrity and not loosening my grip-- and, believe me, I'll never regret it.

Today, I challenge you to try and notice when you make a gut-call: when you do something right, just because you know it’s right. It’s not in Bible, necessarily, or the constitution or the handbook, but you still know it’s what Jesus would do.

Loco | Doctor to Patient: "I'll see your baby when I'm done unicycling."

BOYS' DEAN'S OFFICE - It's nice to wake up to stories like these and begin the day with a laugh.

"We had been asking for someone to see James [the baby] for two hours and we had even told the doctor that he probably shouldn’t be [uni]cycling around in case he hurt someone."

Good call to Fark.com for catching this one.

-cw

Loco | McRedesign? I'm not lovin' it.

BOYS' DEAN'S OFFICE - You've got to be joking.

Owners Jerry Wernau and partner Mark Kramer are hoping that the $300,000 remodel of their McDonald's at Scottsdale and Thomas roads will turn the space into "the four-star restaurant of the fast-food arena." "A McDonald's opened in Denver with flat-screen plasma TVs," [McDonald's regional spokeswoman Carolyn] Gust said, "and some of the stores in the West and Southwest have fountains, gas fireplaces or leather sofas."

Yet, for some reason, I know that if I ask a girl out to a nice dinner and take her out for a Big Mac, I'll get slapped. My Vote: McStupid.

-McCW

Neato | I didn't know people loved Jell-O this much.

BOYS' DEAN'S OFFICE - May I now present San Fransisco, recreated in gelatin.


Wow. Just wow.

-cw

Worship | CNN reports...

Every day at 8:30am, Maxwell staff spend a few minutes together worshiping the Lord. Every week, a different faculty member is assigned to the week's worships. This week, it's "Mr. Webb's" turn. I'll be publishing my worship thoughts to the site every morning (hopefully). Today's worship: God reveals his self to us through His providential care.

STAFF MEETING ROOM - Did you see the news on CNN this morning? Did you catch the top headlines? “Going Hungry: World runs out of food.” Or “Countries unable to harvest anything this year.” Or “All cropped out: Drought kills off over 90% of earth’s vegetation.” Or, my favorite, “Price of rice in China shoots up to $500,000 a grain.”

What? You didn’t? Well, praise God!

¹⁷He proved he is real by showing kindness, by giving you rain from heaven and crops at the right times, by giving you food and filling your hearts with joy." (Acts 14:17 NCV)

Every day, we ask God for this blessing and that blessing, and every day, God pours out everything’s got on us. We pray for guidance, for help, for whatever thing, colossal or trivial, and he hears us and keeps on giving. And the best part is he loves to do it.

A simple flip through the pages of the Old Testament leaves no doubt about this fact. It’s hard, if not impossible, to hit a page where he hasn’t done something for his people. He leads armies into battles. He knocks buildings’ walls down. He makes iron hatchets float like a Nerf ball.

“My kids are being chased by bad guys and are about to be trapped against the sea? Let’s open it up and let them walk through.”

“Some of my most promising young leaders are about to be roasted in the oven? Ok, we’ll block the heat from them so they don’t even sweat.”

“My people are about to take a 40-year long hike through the wilderness and they didn’t being any groceries? Ok, I’ll just create a whole new type of food and rain it down on them.”

God loves giving to us, and we love receiving his blessings: quite literally, a match made in heaven. Is there a better, more effective way for him to prove it to us? We can live in the city and not experience nature, per say. The law he’s place on us can be misinterpreted as something bad. Some people don’t appreciate the scriptures. Jesus is huge to Christians, but isn’t he that guy who lived 2,000 years ago? What can he do for me now?

Our father’s providential care is daily, constant, and unending. Praise him for giving to us, without restraint. Today, take some time to consider what he’s done for you in just the last 24 hours. It doesn’t have to be shown on CNN to be the top story in your life.

myVote™ | Stongbad: "I'm not your freakin' babysitter!"

MY APARTMENT - Oh, Strongbad, you are amazing.

In today's email, SB explains how he puts his pet, The Cheat, to sleep at night. A grotelated old sponge covered in bandaids he affectionately calls "The Denzel," stories of Moses Malone, a glass of skim milk/gummy bears (called Suudsu), and a beautiful renditon of "Yelling brand muffin over the sound of chainsaws." Brilliant.

myVote™: This email was G-E-W-D gewd!

-cw

Worship | 20 Questions.

Every day at 8:30am, Maxwell staff spend a few minutes together worshiping the Lord. Every week, a different faculty member is assigned to the week's worships. This week, it's "Mr. Webb's" turn. I'll be publishing my worship thoughts to the site every morning (hopefully). Today's worship: God reveals his self to us through His son, Jesus.

STAFF MEETING ROOM - My trip to the Mara was a little disappointing.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed sleeping in the midget tent as much as the next guy. I got to see my second lion, taking a small breakfast break. And the miles and miles of wildebeests was definitely a sight I’ll never forget.

But aside from those things, I could only classify my time as “okay.” Sabbath afternoon, we saw pretty much nothing, and I could feel my vehicle’s entertainment level plummeting. That’s when I decided to step up. I could save this trip. I’d go old school, instituting a time-wasting device known since the beginning of time: 20 questions.

20 Questions is the world’s absolute best way to annoy a human being. Millions of years ago, cavemen would wake up, roll off their stone, and go to their job of walking around, hitting stuff with sticks. They’d take a short lunch break, hit stuff with sticks until 10 minutes before 5, and then run home to prepare a supper of the daily kill. When they finally had the chance to sit back and take a load off their feet, though, they’d have to play their cave-children’s favorite game, 20 grunts.

Now, years later, the same basic scene occurs, but it’s expanded to include trips to the doctor’s office, quiet scenes in a movie theater, and, most importantly, long car trips. I immediately began the game, first targeting Laura Richli. However, the little whippersnapper proved to be too smart, and I knew to waste adequate amounts of time, level of difficulty had to be raised.

So I moved from Laura to Valerie, and picked an intangible thing as my object: science. Valerie was flabbergasted how it was a thing she used every day, but she couldn’t see it, taste it, or touch it.

After about an hour of driving across the African plains with no correct response from Val, I finally clued her into what her object was. She was… unenthused, to say the least. However, my mission of wasting time was accomplished, and we got back to the camp in what seemed like record time.

20 questions is obnoxious, yes. I know something. I understand something. I get something. You don’t. Let’s see how long it takes you to figure it out. Isn’t it great that God doesn’t play 20 questions with us? He lets us know right from the start who he is. Sure, he’s a deity, more complex and all-knowing than we can even fathom. But he takes something we’ve seen and tells us, “I’m this.” That something is Jesus. (John 1:18)

¹⁸No one has ever seen God, not so much as a glimpse. This one-of-a-kind God-Expression, who exists at the very heart of the Father, has made him plain as day.

When you see Christ, you’ve seen our God. (John 14:9)

⁹"You've been with me all this time, Philip, and you still don't understand? To see me is to see the Father. So how can you ask, "Where is the Father?'

By simply looking at Christ, we “get” our Lord. It’s much easier to understand the man, the apple that falls from the tree, than to try to pinpoint something so majestic as our Lord.

My challenge today is to hang out in one of the Gospels you haven’t in a while, read something about Jesus that you haven’t in a while, and think of His, and our, Daddy as you haven’t for a while. We have a great privilege to know our God, not by asking hundreds of questions on who he is, but by looking at someone even we can duplicate. Any questions?

-cw

Worship | This land was made for you and me... really.

Every day at 8:30am, Maxwell staff spend a few minutes together worshiping the Lord. Every week, a different faculty member is assigned to the week's worships. This week, it's "Mr. Webb's" turn. I'll be publishing my worship thoughts to the site every morning (hopefully). Today's worship: God reveals his self to us through His nature.

STAFF MEETING ROOM - God is not Wal-Mart brand.

He does not skim off the top. He’s not a big fan of cutting corners. He not accustomed to “holding back” He spares no expense on his children.

Realizing this, I’ve formed the hypothesis that God’s not going to stick us in one cookie-cutter Heaven, but instead, He will grant us all our own personal corner of paradise.

Take a moment to consider that. What will yours look like? Will it be a white sand beach, water splashing up on the shore? Will it be a huge castle on top of a mountain that makes the Himalayas look like speed bumps? Even if you’re content with your mansion currently under construction, have you imagined the landscaping job being performed on your property?

I believe one of God’s favorite gifts he has provided us is the land, the actual terrain, that he gave. There are 14 different mountains listed in the Bible, 10 specifically mentioned seas, 65 hills, 132 Norths, 143 Souths, 157 Easts, and 69 Wests.

At the risk of being sacrilegious, if God ever had interest in a second career, I’d suggest that it might be as a travel agent.

Two points we can get from the Bible and it’s discussion and mentioning of Nature

Point #1 - God exists and has great glory (Psalm 19:1-6)

¹God's glory is on tour in the skies, God--craft on exhibit across the horizon.

²Madame Day holds classes every morning, Professor Night lectures each evening.

³Their words aren't heard, their voices aren't recorded,

⁴But their silence fills the earth: unspoken truth is spoken everywhere. God makes a huge dome for the sun--a superdome!

⁵The morning sun's a new husband leaping from his honeymoon bed, The daybreaking sun an athlete racing to the tape.

⁶That's how God's Word vaults across the skies from sunrise to sunset, Melting ice, scorching deserts, warming hearts to faith.

Nature never taught me that there exists a God of glory and of infinite majesty. I had to learn that in other ways. But nature gave the word glory a meaning for me. (C. S. Lewis in The Four Loves, emphasis added.)

Point #2 - God is all powerful and will exercise judgment (Romans 1:18-21)

¹⁸But God's angry displeasure erupts as acts of human mistrust and wrongdoing and lying accumulate, as people try to put a shroud over truth.

¹⁹But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is!

²⁰By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. So nobody has a good excuse.

²¹What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives.

He’s truly proven He is God with the blessings he placed all around us.

All that was needed for existence would have been yours without the flowers and birds, but God was not content to provide what would suffice for mere existence. He has filled earth and air and sky with glimpses of beauty to tell you of His loving thought for you. The beauty of all created things is but a gleam from the shining of His glory. (Mount of Blessings (by Ellen White) p. 96, emphasis added.)

As we go about this day, may we find 5 minutes, if only 5, to sit outside, clear our minds of all the daily hullabaloo, and live in the magnificent environment he’s blessed us with.

-cw

Neato | The first 100

NAIROBI, KENYA - Yes, the first real milestone.

Thanks to my readers.

-cw

Worship | He wants to be with you... in a not-so-stalker-ish way.

Every day at 8:30am, Maxwell staff spend a few minutes together worshiping the Lord. Every week, a different faculty member is assigned to the week's worships. This week, it's "Mr. Webb's" turn. I'll be publishing my worship thoughts to the site every morning (hopefully). This first Worship post was my introduction antecdote to my theme for the week.

STAFF MEETING ROOM - Last year, when I was on ASB, I had to skip the first banquet of the year because of prior engagements. It was definitely a difficult situation for me; I was on ASB, and therefore, partially responsible for the events that would take place the night of the event. Also, I’d been asked by one of my best friends, the ASB President, actually, making it even harder to say no. However, someone had to go to the Chiefs game, so I sadly turned down the offer and headed to Arrowhead Stadium.

(Valerie Robinette, her brother Sean, and their father ended up being my banquet dates, in the end. Chiefs beat the Falcons, 56-10.)

So when second banquet rolled around, I knew I’d already used my excuse and that this time, I’d have to go, and, after a stern talking-to from the ASB sponsor, I’d have to go with a date. However, that wouldn’t be too difficult. My friends agreed to do reconnaissance for me, and within a few days, I’d picked my target, Shanell.

Shanell was a very sweet kid, very pretty, and had a great sense of humor. The only bad thing about going with Shanell was that I didn’t know her but through mutual friends. I was a journalism major, and she was in school to be an elementary school teacher. We were from completely different parts of campus, and I could count the number of times we spoke on one hand. How was I going to "get in"?

Long story short, with the assistance of my buddies, I began a simple game of figure-out-her-schedule- and-try-to-be-where-she-will-be-so-in-fact- she’s-really-bumping-into-me. While borderline stalker-ish, the system proved to be effective, and I spent banquet next to a beautiful redhead.

In a not-so-creepy way, God does the same thing to us. He is so into us and wants to spend lots of time with us, so he goes about our day, running up ahead of us and popping His head out to see us again. God wants us to be with him so much, he goes out of his way to reveal himself to us, using 5 main tracts of getting our attention.

This week, I hope to clue you into how God’s reaching for you. With God’s blessing, maybe by the time Friday rolls around, you will have completely recognized his presence in every aspect of your life. And think, you won’t even miss a banquet to experience it!

-cw

Link | "OH MY GOSH, ARIEL, IT'S THE BASSY BOYS!"

BOYS' DEAN'S OFFICE - Click this link and watch this video.

If you're not rolling on the floor, laughing in a pool of your own urine by the time it's over, I'll buy you a Ferarri. Or tickets to see these guys in concert.

Kudos to Elvin for discovering one of the top 10 funniest things I've ever seen in my life.

-cw

Link | Piece of feces runs for mayor, no crap. Feels the urge to do his public duty.

BOYS' DEAN'S OFFICE - These people just keep on coming.

"Of course I'm not a real person," Skwarok said earlier this week. "I'm a big piece of poop."

Of course you are, sir.

-cw

Observations | SPECIAL FIRST-QUARTER EDITION

BOYS’ DEAN’S OFFICE – Let the daily grind begin again.

It’s been a fabulous couple of days off while the kids were on homeleave. Although only a third of them were gone, and I spent half my time with them, the calm feeling coming from them was definitely felt by the staff, too. I got to stay up, sleep in, and spend some time not doing a whole lot of anything. It was a much-needed detox from the regular.

It’s also a marker for the first quarter of school (and my first quarter here). After these first couple months here, I’ve developed some impressions about my situation. So, now, may I again present…

Three (more broad) observations:

1. It’s different here than at home. Really, I mean it. Living in a third-world country with a history of political instability isn’t worse, just… different. There’s just thing that would seem weird to you, back in the ‘States, but are generally accepted and normal here.

For instance, rice is eaten every day. That might not sound too strange, but let it sink in; 90% of lunchtime and dinner meals include rice. Rice with this stew on top of it, rice with these vegetables with it, rice with veggie-meat, rice with gravy. It’s not bad – the item that goes with the rice makes it vary from day to day. But it’s still an every-day occurrence.

Or when driving into Nairobi, it’s not uncommon to see: baboons on the side of the road, donkeys pulling carts, people pulling carts, insane driving that almost runs all the other people off the road from the Matatu taxi service, a warthog crossing the road, a set of newly-installed potholes, policemen with AK-47s guarding the outside (and inside) of Nakumatt, the second-largest area of slums on the continent of Africa, and/or approximately 47 roundabouts.

But the biggest difference is simply how not-American it is here. Life isn’t slow, but not nearly as fast as it is at home. “Streamlined efficiency” is a vocabulary word from a fiction book, as is “cleanliness.” Stuff isn’t color-coded. They drive their vehicles wildly, but still more defensive than at home. There’s tons of Indian/Asia influence, almost more than Western influence.

It’s just… different.

2. I enjoy deaning/teaching/working at an academy. I remember, long ago, thinking how I’d like to work in an academy so I could work with the youth, inspire them to work hard, be the “cool” faculty. I now see the error in my thought process, especially on the last point. While it’s fun to be the “cool” faculty and admirable to want to push them, that’s not the focus. The ultimate goal is to be a positive role model for the students.

Sometimes accomplishing, or aiming for, that goal is confusing. I was brought here for a job, and I’m obligated to support the school’s policies. If students are breaking the rules, I nail them on it, no matter how hard (or easy, in the case of social) it is. My masters in the job are Mr. Thomas, the principal, and Mr. VerSteeg, the dean. I must support and uphold what they say.

But, as I’ve said from the beginning, my mission is to show Christ to these kids, and I make sure whatever rules I bend or break, I do it for that reason alone. When they come and talk to me, I try not to tower over them as a faculty member, but advise them like an older brother. I want them to like me and to trust me, so if/when something comes up, they’re comfortable talking to Mr. Webb. They’ll know that he’ll look out for the best in them.

3. Jet lag, like TOTALLY sucks. Even though I know I got over it after about 7 days here, I wonder still if I’m truly adjusted. I find myself staying up later that I like to, and even if I go to bed at an acceptable hour, I smack the snooze an average of 3 times a morning. I’m either a) dying, b) still not adjusting to the time change, or c) destined to live the next 7 months of my time here in a sleep-deprived funk.

Ok, well I’d better take off. Another update to come soon!

-cw

Loco | Be careful when you microwave your nightgown - you could die.

BOYS' DEAN'S OFFICE - I'm not even joking; this is a true story.

Authorities believe the woman removed the clothes from the microwave, not realising they were on fire, and set her nightgown alight in the process, a police spokeswoman said.

Where do idiots like this hide out?

-cw

Observations | Magadi, The Gods, Egypt

MY APARTMENT – “Mommy, mommy, does it really have to end?”

Tomorrow, break is all over. So sad.

Ah well, it’ll be nice to get back into the school rhythm. I’ve accomplished 25% of my time here, and in just a few more weeks, I’ll be celebrating my Christmas in Egypt. A few weeks after that, and my parents will visit. Then, just a couple more weeks, and it’ll be time to go home already! Strange to think it’s going this quickly.

Three Observations:

1. Back to Mugatu… I mean, Magadi. The first Sabbath we were here, we visited Lake Magadi in southern Kenya. Since we’d just arrived less than 48 hours earlier, we could have went pretty much anywhere, no less Lake Magadi, and I would have been overwhelmed by the sights. So I was excited by the opportunity to go back and really see what I didn’t last time when I heard they’d be taking the students down there for Sabbath afternoon. I had Elvin sign me up, hopped in the van he was driving, and headed down there.

The way down involved an exciting scene with Alex*, a guy I’ve previously reported on back on the Punishments edition. Apparently, no one told the guy that the ride to Magadi takes close to 2 hours on completely bumpy roads, and he’d drank a can of Mountain Dew like usual. It took him about a half-hour into the trip to begin begging for Elvin to stop the van and let him pee.

”Sorry, guy, we’ve got a schedule to keep. Better think quick on what else you can do.”

One desperately-needing-to-pee guy + one incredibly bumpy school van (filled with just guys, thankfully) + one empty can of soda = GROSS. You do the math.

We got to Magadi a little while later, and I got my redemption from the last trip. The lake, again, isn’t so much of a lake as it is a small trickle from a hot spring in a low desert-like region. Our first trip there, I’d worn jeans and boots and missed my opportunity to stick my feet in the warm water. Not this time. In my shorts and flip-flops, I waded around the spring and took pictures of my students soaking in some of the bigger holes. I got a call from my parents on my cell phone, and so I’ll always be blessed with the memory of talking to them while wandering around Magadi.

We drove back on the longest drive ever, with the only highlight coming from Alex* needing to pee again. We dropped him off on the side of the road, pulling over to the left so the school bus, which would be passing us in a few seconds, wouldn’t see him. For some reason, though, he ran in front of the bus to the other side, just as the bus was passing by. He must have been pretty surprised to see 50-some of his peers watching him whiz on the side of the road!

Otherwise, not much of a trip back. We’d been in the sun all day long, so we were pretty tired and almost ready to get to sleep. However, there were some other plans for us…

2. “The Gods Must Be Crazy”… in their sense of humor. The Thomas’ invited us over to their house to screen the classic movie about life in Africa. While we cracked up at some of the descriptions and antics of Xixo, I must have still been pretty exhausted from Magadi, so I drifted in and out of consciousness throughout the film.

Funny, after it was over, I woke up, talked to the Thomas’ and the other SMs, and headed back to the apartment. Now, I’m typing online, not tired at all (almost). Weird.

My favorite line: “[Xixo] spoke long and earnestly to the baboon and explained, that is an evil thing you've got there, and it brought much unhappiness to my family and it will surely bring much unhappiness to yours unless you give it back to me and let me throw it away. He spoke so earnestly that the baboon began to take note and dropped the evil thing. He said, that is a very wise thing you have done.” –Narrator (explaining Ninau's conversation with a baboon in a tree who grabbed the Coke bottle)

3. Still going to Egypt! Ok, here’s the latest update: Lauran and I are going for X-mas after all! We went online and found our tickets for Egypt at about $450, with all taxes and hidden fees added in. Not too bad. I went into town a couple days ago to buy the ticket and make it all official.

Then the fun began. Ethiopian Airlines approved me, but refused to sell me Lauran’s ticket because he needs a Filipino visa to enter Egypt. So I text messaged him and told him to contact the embassy to get his visa. Yea, they won’t give him a visa until he has a ticket… way to be, guys.

So now, I’m working with our contact in Egypt to get lodging approved. As soon as they do that, they can send the embassy a letter stating his travel plans here, they’ll grant him the visa, and I can buy the tickets. No problem… as long as it’s all cleared up by December 6th, the last day to buy them. Start praying.

Allright, maybe it is time for bed. I am starting to drift off, really…

-cw

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent... or presumed innocent.

Neato | Top 10 Reasons I Kinda Wish Kerry Would Have Won The Election

MY APARTMENT - Bunch of funny here. How many do you agree with?

==================================

Top Ten Reasons I Kinda Wish Kerry Would Have Won The Election

10. Our Teresa graphic is way more fun than our Laura graphic.








9. Bushes would outnumber Clintons 2-1 on the disaster aid brigade.

8. I'd rather listen to Republican Senators justify votes against Sonia Sotomayor than listen to them justify votes for Harriet Miers.

7. Homelessness would disappear, the economy would suddenly be robust and the news from Iraq would be all good.

6. I would have had a good excuse to brush up on my French. Mon dieu!

5. Saturday Night Live's Seth Meyers would have received a huge career boost due to his Kerry impressions.

4. Without Bush to kick around, dirty smelly hippies would just stay home and get high.

3. Instead of being envied for having the most free, productive and inventive country on earth, we'd be envied for our leaders' full, luscious heads of hair.

2. Cindy who?

1. No one could blame me-I voted for Bush!

==================================

Pretty good, guys.

-cw

Observations | Disappointing Phone Call, VM, and the amazing Chiefs (and their equally amazing Fan)

MY APARTMENT – As of yesterday, www.TheDailyCowbell.com was claimed to yours truly as the new home of this incredible blog.

And as of this morning, it was gone.

In what has come to pass as a most regrettable experience with Dime a Dozen.com (get the link yourself), my new web address seems to have been cancelled. The domain, which worked very well on Friday night, now features one of those great pages that says “This page doesn’t exist, sucka!” When I tried to contact the idiots at the domain company, I got nowhere, and I’m still awaiting their reply. Even better, my login name (which worked just fine previously) isn’t even recognized by the stupid web page.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes, even though I apparently “cancelled” my order, I’m still being charged the $8 domain registration fee.

SLT might have just found a new victim. More to come later.

Three Observations:

1. A long-distance disappointment. Finally, the time came; Valerie and I were to hear from Union College, and they were to hear from us! As I mentioned earlier, we received emails from Campus Ministries, informing us that we’d be getting a phone call at 4am, Friday morning (8pm in Lincoln). The phone conversation would be broadcast over the church’s PA at Thusday night’s Power Pac, meaning everyone would hear us. Eagerly, we invited our friends to head over to the church to chat with us at 8pm.

Thing to go wrong #1) Val and I agreed to meet in the office (the nearest

speakerphone) at 3:45am to have a chance to wake up a bit before addressing UC again. So, at about 20 till, I left the apartment for the administration building.

Much to my surprise, the phone was ringing… long rings. It was an outside line call! Who else would be calling us this early than Union. I sprinted over to the dorms, fumbled with my keys, and dashed for the phone, on its 32,523rd ring. Why the crap are they calling now? Val’s not even over here yet!

Thing to go wrong #2) Come to find out, UC’s is singing their last song of song service. Next up, us. What the heck, they said 4am! Hurry up, Val, you’re gonna miss it!

Thing to go wrong #3) Val runs in, breathless, literally 10 seconds before we’re broadcast over the PA. We flip on the speakerphone and find out that we’re going to have to put our faces 3 cm from the receiver for them to even hear us. Ewwww, morning breath!

Thing to go wrong #4) We’re greeted by Pastor Rich Carlson, a very welcoming voice to hear. He asks us a few question about how we’re liking it here and all that, and we give great, Jesus-slanted answers for him.

Now, you must understand, usually on these kinds of phone calls, the person on my end of the call is usually surprised by Pastor Rich handing the microphone to one of our friends in the audience, who gets to talk to us over the PA. I was looking forward to that a bit, but I was more excited for Val.

See, since I’ve been here, I’ve got to talk to my parents quite a few times. I’ve also been blessed to talk to a few of my friends (twice because I bought them an international phone card and told them “CALL ME NOW!”). Valerie, on the other hand, hasn’t talked to her parents but twice, I think, and not to her brother, a sophomore at Union, at all. So I was really looking forward tothe “talk to your friends” part of the call, for Valerie’s sake.

But, for some reason I’m still not sure of, no such luck. Pastor Rich asked a few more questions, prayed with us, and then wished us luck before hanging up. No talking to anyone at all.

Thing to go wrong #4.5) It’s ok, because Sean wasn’t even there anyways.

Thing to go wrong #5) We headed back to the apartments a little disheveld, wondering what went wrong. Ah well, I’m sure lots of our friends heard us anyways.

Not as many as there could be, though. Come to find out, Marleigh Rannow, one of my favorite people in the world, was the SM Call of the Night for Friday night, when attendance in the church is doubled from Thursday. What did Marleigh do to become the headliner!

Thing to go wrong #6) …and not one email from anyone at UC, telling me they heard us on Thursday night. Sigh…

2. Village Market: Better the second time around. The first (and only) time the SMs checked out VM, we didn’t really care for it too much. Everything was high-priced, the whole place was set up like a mall (a la “very cookie-cutter”), and it seemed like there were many more interesting places to check out in Nairobi.

However, after the pure excitement that was Thursday-in-the-room, I was very willing to do whatever it took to get off campus. So when I heard that the 8^th graders needed an extra sponsor for their trip into VM, I volunteered for the job. Sure, it would require me being with kids over my weekend off, but it was totally worth it. I love the elementary kids, and hanging out with them and the Merginios, the 8^th grade’s “hostel parents”, for the day sounded like a great time.

We left MAA and arrived at Village Market at 11, giving us time to walk a bit, pick up some lunch, and meet at the mini water-park by noon. While the Merginios swung their gorgeous 15 month old daughter Lana by the doctor, I supervised the kiddies at the slides. It was nice just to kick back and hang out with the little buddies.

When the “parents” came back, David and Mwila walked up to the Masai Market with me for some heavy-bargaining. I’m planning on sending a little package home to the family this next week, so I wanted to grab some little trinkets from Africa. After 30 minutes and approximately $23, I’d purchased all the gifts I could and felt satisfied with my great bartering skills.

After swinging by the overrated Pizza Inn on the way back, we made it back to Maxwell’s campus, safe and sound. It was an awesome chance to just kick back and hang out with some kids I don’t get to see too often. I’ve already volunteered with Merginios, too, for the trip at the end of the semester!

3. Love for KC, proven yet again. What’s the best way to deal with getting 6 hours of sleep in 2 days? Probably by going to bed early the next chance you can, yes? *Buzzer* No, my friends, not when there’s a Chiefs game on!

KC’s game with Miami was moved to a 6pm (central time) Friday game because of Hurricane Wilma, expected to smash into the Florida coast late Sunday afternoon. A pain for the Chiefs, who became the first NFL team to travel and play on the same day; a bigger pain for Chris Webb, who became the first Maxwell Staff to do something so incredibly stupid (like stay up until 5am listening to a football game) that left him borderline stunted for the next day.

This morning, to recuperate from the thrilling victory over the Dolphins, I slept through Sabbath services, feeling justified in taking part of the Lord’s day “for rest.” And now, I just woke up.

Ah, now, to be fed…

Ok, I think this is all for now. This afternoon I’ll be traveling back to Magadi, where I spent my first Sabbath. Hopefully I can get in the hot springs this time. Note to self: wear shorts and flip-flops this time.

-cw

Observations | BORED...

MY (BORING) APARTMENT - What a boring day.

Last night was my last time on duty for the week. With around half of the guys gone for long weekend, it’s Mr. VerSteeg watching the dorm until Sunday night, leaving me with a big bowl of nothing to do for a couple days.

I was planning on going to Hell’s Gate with Valerie, Elvin, and a couple of students. That was, until I found out it would cost approximately half of my monthly stipend to go and just hike while everyone else rock-climbed. I didn’t have to think about it long.

So last night, I hit the sack at around 11:30pm… and woke up this morning around 11:30am. I showered, swept my floor, ate a little lunch in the café, watched The Godfather (again), and sat down right at this computer to write this blogpost.

What a boring day. Gosh, I love boring days.

Three (boring) observations:

1. I bought another audiobook. Whoever has the audacity to diss these things is not only a raging idiot, but also a “poop-mouth.” Audiobooks are pretty much the greatest thing EVA. It’s like the perfect cross between a book and a movie, a la “storytime” in kindergarten: a professionally trained voice-man sits there and reads the story to you. Booya.

After buying (or technically, “getting free through a loophole in Audible.com’s system”) America: The Audiobook and The DaVinci Code for my iPod, I tested the files in Europe and was pleased to see how well it worked. There I was, sitting on trains, in hostels, inside historical monuments, listning to the adventures of Sophie Neveu (sp?) and Robert Langdon. Wicked cool.

Now, a few months later, I’ve caved in and finally bought my first one on my own. Angels and Demons, Dan Brown’s best work, is now downloaded to my iPod. I made the mistake of putting it over the dorm PA while I was on duty last night and was surprised to find two guys – one an RA – coming to the lobby to listen with me. Ivan, the RA (who is almost 100% sure he’s coming to Union), even borrowed my iPod from me tonight so he could listen to the adventures some more. Awesome.

So to the haters hating on audiobooks: Stop. You don’t know what you’re missing. Just listen.

2. My laptop sucks. Its newest trick is shutting off after just a few minutes of usage. No program errors, no conflicts, no warnings – just a shutdown. DOesn’t matter if I unplug the power cord and run off the battery or if I pull out the battery and rely on the power cord – stupid. Just randomly, after 5 minutes, it goes down.

And here’s the worst part: it hasn’t done it in like 5 hours.

How can you isolate the problem if the problem doesn’t occur? I’ve done nothing with it since it’s fit of “Gosh, wouldn’t it be fun to anger my owner to the point of throwing me against the wall?”. So why isn’t it shutting down. Why am I able to write this post with no fear of losing it? What is freaking going on?

More to come…

3. Tomorrow may be better… or not. Not doing anything today really convinced me that I should do something tomorrow. So I hooked up with the elementary school for plans on making this Friday one to remember.

I’ll be a “supervisor” for the elementary kids on their trip to Village Market, an overly-expensive outdoor mall that has a water park and bowling alley inside. I’m really pumped, because I love these young kids, and it’ll be a fun chance to do something after not doing anything at all today.

We leave at 8am, which kind

a sucks when you add in other facts:
Fact 1) I’d have waken up at 4am to talk to UC.
Fact 2) That’s early on it’s own as it is.
Fact 3) The Chiefs-Dolphins game, originally set for Sunday, has been pushed back to Friday night to avoid Hurricane Wilma, expected to smash into the Floridian coast on Sunday night. So I’ll be up for that (at 2am), too.

Ah, well...

Ok, that’s all for now. Told ya, nothing too interesting. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Laaaaaate!

-cw