Observations | THE COMEBACK EDITION

BOYS’ DEAN’S OFFICE – So the curse of “Chris sucking at flagball” hasn’t wore off.

After qualifying for the MAA Flagball Playoffs with a 2-5-1 record, we lost in our first and only game, to the (gross) Broncos team. The loss was especially painful because we’d dropped both games to them, with close margins, but this game, we got smoked. Not even close.

My biggest complaint about this season was the horrible refereeing that took place when we were to play. Only the obvious, you’ve-gotta-call-that-since-my-teammate-is-bleeding penalties were noted by refs. Elvin felt that the lack of fairness had something to do with 3 faculty members being on the same team, and I’d agree. While I had the honor of listening to students drop vulgarities all over the playing field, I got nailed with a 10 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for yelling “OH MY GOSH, YOU’RE NOT GONNA CALL THAT EITHER?” after my teammate was straight-up shoved over on a pass rush. And I got lectured by a student about not using “profanity.” (Is “gosh” profanity? I could have said a lot worse…) And then that student, my teammate, tattled to the dean, my boss, about my “cursing” on the flagball field. And then I got harassed for the next few days for saying “choice words.”

By students that feel that the N-word is appropriate for everyday, classroom use.

Ah well. Coulda been worse.

Three Observations:

1. I could definitely feel the love… and see it… and hear it… Tuesday’s town trip wasn’t too eventful, again. We ran into town and picked up some school supplies from Sarit Center, and tested out a new eatery, Restaurant Havana. (myVote™: They had tostones. The food was overpriced, the ambience was mundane, and the servers were incompetent. But they did have tostones… A-.) Yet another boring, we’re-just-going-into-Nairobi-again town trip.

However, there was one thing we tried out, different from ever before: the Snake Park. Right off the Museum Hill roundabout sits this reptile-zoo, exhibiting the leeeezards and slithery things of the country. While Valerie and Elvin skipped from one creepy-crawler to the next, Honey and I just stayed back and… appreciated the little beats from a safe distance.

Little did we know, however, that we were to see a more horrifying sight than any other from the day. We walked past the turtle area, glancing at the little guys running around, when suddenly, Honey turned the opposite way she was facing, closed her eyes, and breathed “Oh, oh… look.”

I peaked behind her to see two turtles near each other. The back one looked like he had partially climbed on top of the other, and he was panting with his mouth open…

It took me a solid 10 seconds to get what “they” were doing.

Of course, as disgusting as it was, we had to stand there and watch for another 10 minutes, cracking jokes the whole time. I have (rated R) pictures, with my fellow staff looking in on the tortoise sex-fest, red-faced and laughing at the sight. For the sake of my younger readers, I won’t be posting the pictures. But if you email me, requesting them…

2. But the question is, can I write enough of these to make into a book? You might have noticed the 5 “Worship” posts I did this week. As I explained as a preface to each of them, every staff member is assigned to lead a week’s worth of staff worships, both semesters. This week, Pastor Webb was the one up to bat.

I’d known about this week since the very beginning of the year, and still, I procrastinated the writing of them until the morning of the worship. Luckily, I hadn’t delayed in my theme. My worships looked into the 5 ways that God reveals himself to us: through His nature, His Son, His providing, His law, and His word. Even though I’d waited until literally 10 minutes before our meeting was to start to finish, I still feel like I did a pretty good job with my thoughts.

When I was first bouncing around the idea of preaching a sermon here, I’d made the mistake of telling it to Elvin. He’s been “encouraging” me to really volunteer for it and make it happen. While I still feel like it’s not really going to happen, why not? I’ve talked in front of the guys a million times, and thrice in front of the ladies. Now the faculty have heard me talk to them. Is it really time? Hmmm…

3. Leg-go my Egg-o. While I was undoubtedly napping or doing something useless online on Thursday, Valerie went with the Thomas’ on their weekly trip into the game park. While they were there, they had a great time thieving wild animals of their young… kind of.

Apparently, in the last few weeks, they’d found some abandoned ostrich nests with eggs in them, and they were tired of going past them and not getting any. So this last Thursday, Val and Mrs. Thomas hopped out of the car into the wild (where there were probably a million and a half lions watching and salivating), grabbed handfuls of eggs, and ran back in the vehicle. You’ve heard of stealing candy from a baby? Well, this was stealing babies from a mama. Much more risk.

They brought the eggs (a little narrower than a football, but much shorter in length) back to campus and excitedly called up Elvin and me on the phone, offering us one of their prized captures. We ran over to their house to help out with the emptying-eggs process.

It’s legal to bring ostrich eggs back into the ‘States – just crazy. And gross, if they crack open on the flight. So to minimize nastiness, we take an electric drill, put a small hole in one end, then a larger hole in the other. Then we tilt it over onto the big-hole end and empty out all the nasty on the inside. Once all of that is out, rinse out the little guy, pull out the membrane/skin on the inside of the egg, add some bleach-water to radically improve the scent, and walla! Ostritch Egg!

The first time I saw this done, it didn’t go as textbook-well as I described. We drilled the top of the egg and watched it spout yellow, rotten-scented nasty out its top. The, when the big hole was drilled and we tried to drain it out, it came out it brown, yellow, and sometimes red clumps into the bucket underneath us. And the smell, sweet mercy! Think of the most rotten eggs you’ve ever sniffed in your life, and triple it. It as a miracle I didn’t throw up in my own mouth.

Another time, we emptied everything out and felt there was still something in it. We peek in and saw that there was a partially-developed ostrich chick, maybe an inch and a half long, on the inside. Mr. Thomas, the adventurer he is, pulled out the body parts, piece by piece, with a pair of hemostats.

On the very next egg, there was a chick so big that they had to break it open to see. It was almost full-aged, ready to hatch. When we looked at it, we could see its beak, it’s legs, its wings – even a few hairs that looked to become feathers on day. Sad…

My egg went almost perfectly. We emptied it out without flaw (and hardly any stench), I cleaned it out, and now, it’s sitting on my shelf, thanking me for giving it an inside-out bath. Thanks, Val, for the great souvenir!

I apologize for not doing a very good job of keeping my blog update in the last week, at least with Observations and other things (besides links). I was very distracted by the worship thoughts I had to do. I’ll definitely do better from here on :) Miss you all. I’m begging you; please, please, please, keep emailing me! Bye!

-cw