Observations | The Evil Egyptian Embassy, CURRY, and MAA

MY APARTMENT – This morning I woke up to the sound of my ears bleeding.

A few weeks ago, I was looking around on iTunes at new releases when I saw a new version of the Eric Clapton classic “Tears in Heaven.” It was one of those remakes where they donate proceeds to whatever recent, chic disaster occured. This single, for victims of the Asian tsunami, featured artists like Elton John, Rod Stewart, Mary J. Blige, Kelly Clarkson, Josh Groban, and even (strangely enough) Ozzy Osbourne. While it seemed like the bizarre mix of artists (especially when the last one is included), I was optimistic. “Tears in Heaven” is one of the greatest songs of all time. Even Ozzy couldn’t mess this one up. Maybe it’s cool. For 99 cents, it was worth the try. I clicked the “Purchase” button, sealing my doomed fate.

I heard the sounds of pigs being slaughtered, children crying, men gnashing their teeth.

New general rule: Whenever there’s a song done for a charity, and any name that even rhymes with “Ozzy” is featured on the single, DO NOT BUY IT. Remember that sound you used to hate in elementary school, of the chalk screeching on the blackboard? It’s like paying 99 cents for that sound, repeated over and over again, for 3 minutes.

myVote™: *Ears bleeding*

Three Observations:

1. Egytian embassy: We pretty much don’t want you to come to our country. Pretty much… As you might remember from past posts, Lauran Merginio and I have been stuck in the Catch-22 from hell in making this Egypt trip work. Ethiopian Airlines, the cheapest carrier around, can get us there and back for $500ish (taxes included). However, they refuse to sell us tickets until Lauran gets his travel visa from the Egyptian embassy.

Not a huge problem, ay? Nope, not really… until you talk to the Egyptian embassy, who informs you that they cannot, in fact, give a visa until they have an actual ticket to the country.

So yesterday, I snatched control of the whole situation. I e-mail spammed our contact in the Cairo Adventist guesthouse, begging her for an official “invitation” to give to the idiots and the embassy. I phoned Ethiopian Airlines, talked with (and I think “was flirted on by”) a super-friendly customer support lady, who informed me that if we simply brought the ticket claim over to the embassy, they’d accept that in lieu of the ticket. I even called the demon-seeds at the embassy to confirm that they wouldn’t issue us a visa without the ticket, even though we couldn’t get the ticket without the visa.

They hung up on me. I called back and informed them that we’d gotten disconnected. I thought I heard the wench on the other side coughing a laugh back. Whatever.

On our town trip, we made a special excursion to the unpleasant embassy to pick up a visa application for Lauran. I almost got screwed on that one; the embassy, while open all day, only accepts visas from 10am to 12:30pm. However, you can pick up an application outside the gate any time. We get to the embassy, I go to the gate, and I ask for an application.

”Ahm [This is how Africans say “Um”.], we have no mahre. De people are making copies. Cahmn bahck een… ahm… thirty minutes.”

Needless to say, I was furious with these people at this point. I demanded that the guard go inside and find me one copy, because I’d came a long way and had to leave to go back home in just a few minutes (blatant lie). The man unwillingly moseyed inside and came back, minutes later, with a sheet of paper: the application. Even the request for this simple item (a 30-second transaction, at the most) took close to 10-minutes to accomplish. Do you guys hate me? You don’t want to visit your freaking country that bad?

Tomorrow, the saga continues. Lauran and I have to go into Nairobi to get Yellow Fever shots. (I had mine done already, but I am lacking the certification.) We’re also going to go into Ethiopian Airlines to plead with them to let us buy our tickets – otherwise, we’ll never get to go at all! I think there’s even a chance we’ll go back to the embassy to head-butt the witch who hung up on me. Ok, I made the last one up. But still, wish us luck!

2. That curry smell is back. I’ve mentioned before how uneventful and repetitive days off have become. While they’re an incredibly great blessing to have (after 6 days of being surrounded by students), they really blend into eachother now. We pretty much do the same thing we did yesterday: go to Sarit Center (the nicest, most American mall) to pick up school supplies from a textbook center, hit up Nakumatt for all our grocery needs, and stop by some place to either eat or just snack a bit.

Yesterday, our eating establishment of choice was Ashianos, the Indian restaurant. This is the eatery where I first began my curry obsession that led to the “curry-scented body wash” experience. While it’s still a borderline painful experience, spicy-wise, I managed to survive the onslaught of flavor/heat and even enjoy my food. Another adding-curry-into-everything-I-cook festival is coming up…

3. Not just my last year at MAA? The hot new rumor on campus (between the staff, that is) has to do with a meeting we’ll be having on Friday. Apparently, a higher-up of the church is visiting us to just “check up” on how we’re doing. She’ll be looking around the school, interviewing staff, and, most likely, talking to students about their school.

The worry is that this woman is coming to scope out the school and deem us expendable to the Adventist Church, a.k.a. shut down Maxwell. This academy was almost closed down before, after another church official (who apparently takes great pride in doing such Satan-possessed things as removing options for Christian education) “stopped by” to check and see how Maxwell was doing. After he left, he filed a report to the General Conference, suggesting that MAA be shut down. If it hadn’t been for a blitz of letters from Maxwell Academy parents, I wouldn’t be working in this school today.

So after that close call, there’s obvious reasoning to be worried. Higher-ups in the church, like this lady, don’t just visit places “for fun;” they have a mission. Of course, we don’t know the mission. She might want to cut funding, depleting us of one less staff member for next year, or she might want to propose we receive more money. But fresh off the heels of the last threat to the school, the overall feeling for Friday’s appointment is “tense.”

This is another one of those (few) times that I’m not trying to be funny or entertaining. I simply am reporting this so you’ll remember to keep our situation in your prayers. If something happens, it won’t happen now, you know. I won’t be deported, sent back home prematurely, so I’m not in danger.

But this school, that I’m really beginning to love, needs to remain open. Whether the Seventh-day Adventist church recognizes it or not, they have the opportunity to train up its future leaders, right here. If they cut the school out, who’s to tell where the students will end up, what they’ll do, what they’ll become. Please keep Maxwell Academy in your prayers.

Allright, it’s time to “R-U-N-N-O-F-T.” Tonight, I get the opportunity of sitting through song approval for banquet. There’s supposed to be 12 performers showing up, crooning out their disgustingly mushy love-songs, dedicated to their “one-and-only” loves. I’ll bring my own barf bag.

-cw