Observations | SPECIAL PRE-X-MAS EDITION

MY OFFICE – You know you’re a Webb when you’re listening to Amy Grant’s Christmas music, all the way in Africa.

And it’s just October.

One of the things I know I’m missing at home now is the early arrival of “The Twelve[-hundred] day of Christmas” my mom and sister celebrate a fortnight before Halloween. While a normal family probably wouldn’t bust out the yuletide jingles for another few weeks, my family is… different. I haven’t asked them about it, but if my suspicions are correct, “Santa Claus is coming to town.” Like, already.

Not to be a “Mean one, Mr. Grinch,” or anything. I’d love to “Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!” as much as the next guy, especially here in Africa. But “Hark,” if it comes this “O Holy Night”, I’m going to take a “Sleigh Ride” to the nearest meteorologist and “Deck the Halls,” if ya know what I mean.

Three Pre-X-Mas Observations (dedicated to my little elves at home):

1. “I’ll have a bluuuuuue, Christmas, without you…” Our top story tonight: one, half-man half-machine counter-contact vigilante has struck again, harder than before. Yes, the Social-Life Terminator (a.k.a. Dean Chris Webb) has finally acquired his ultimate goal of putting a couple on social.
   
   It all occurred last night, moments after recreation concluded. After being warned just a few hours earlier by Principal Thomas that “touching isn’t allowed, and yes, this is your warning,” a couple made their way to a rendezvous to bid farewell to eachother for the evening. The male victim, later identified as Danny*, and Broncos fan, embraced his female counterpart, Katie*, in his arms for an extended period of time. Then, before the two parted ways, the Bronco-PDAer leaned forward and sneakily kissed the lady upon the head, unseen to the untrained human eye.
   
   Luckily, there was one trained eye and it belonged to the notorious SLT. SLT zipped over to the spot of the foul and immediately informed the Horse-Kisser that he’d made a faulty decision and been caught by the hug/goodnight-overseer. After repeatedly denying the accusation, Donkey-Lips caved in, begging for forgiveness and a pardon from the Supervisor.
   
   However, that wasn’t in the cards. The next morning, SLT reported the blunder in Staff Worship, and by 9 a.m., the pecking-pair was informed of their obligatory “Social Holiday:” letters of the crime sent home, plus two weeks of no talking, no sitting near eachother, no notes passing, and no being within a 5 mile radius of the other one. [The last penalty, originally suggested by SLT, was revoked when Ad Council discovered that our campus isn’t even one mile long.]
   
   It was another victorious triumph for SLT, who’s record now stands 2 Clean-the-toilets-with-a-travel-toothbrush, 4 leave-my-classroom-since-you-won’t-stop-talking, one near-suspension-changed-to-roombound-for-the-better-part-of-the-week, and one social. While the students are now traumatized by the machine’s social-life terminating tendencies, they continue to inform the SLT of names, locations, and times of couples making out.
   
   SLT will use this information to continue search-and-destroy Mission: “End-all-couples-so-I-don’t-have-to-supervise-at-rec.”

1. “Oh little town of [Nairobi]…” Town trips are becoming more condensed and concentrated. While we used to take 5 or 6 hours to get coffee, walk around a shopping area, and stop by Nakumatt to get groceries, we’ve slowly become adjusted to the city. By 3pm yesterday, we managed to get all of our goals for the time off accomplished. The city doesn’t seem so big and entertaining anymore. Are we adjusted?
   
   So, with our extra bit of free time, we stopped by the Blue Shacks, a tourist-market place similar to the Masai Market. Elvin, Honey, Valerie and I popped in and out of a couple stalls, all managing to walk out with a merchandise bag in hand. I managed to acquire another mask and a couple of ebony-wood elephant bookends I’ve had my eyes on the last few weeks for just 1100/- (US$15). Not bad, considering I’ve seen them in actually stores for 2 to 3 times that much. I must be a mad barterer.
   
   We jumped back in the van, and after a “quick” hour-long stop at Nakumatt, darted back to Maxwell. After swinging by the cafeteria for some leftover pizza, we headed down to the elementary school for our weekly movie-screening session. The film for the night was “The Wedding Singer,” chosen because of Valerie’s hearty appreciation of the 80s. It was a nice ending for a pretty good day.
   
   
2. “Silent night…” in our apartment, after losing a flagball game for the second time in a row. Tonight, we held the best team to a score of 0-0 in the first half, and all seemed to be going well. That is, until they touched the ball.
   
   With the simple-yet-effective philosophy of "Have-your-best-player- throw-every-pass-to-your -second-best-player”, we managed to have a touchdown scored upon us immediately after the second half kickoff. While this wasn’t anything that we couldn’t recover from, the interception we threw (while in the end zone) that was returned for a touchdown seemed to signal the end of the game for us.
   
   Elvin and I were pretty beat up about it… mentally, competitively, and physically. As I limped around the apartment, licking my wounds, I realized how I’d get the last laugh on the youth; I went to the kitchen, cooked up some incredibly smell-able tuna and noodles, and paraded around the dorm. 90% of the dorm (opponents included) came outside to beg for scraps, to which I answered two words: “UH, NO.”
   
   Haha, suckers. That’ll teach you not to beat a couple of old guys next time. We can play dirty, too.
   

Ok, well I think that’s all for the night. I must be up early to do dorm worship. Which reminds me of a rhetorical question: If I do worships in the morning, and everyone’s so tired that they doze through my worship thought, did I really do it? Does it have to be a good one? Good or bad, will they remember? These are things I think in the night…

Merry Pre-Christmas.

-cw

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent... or presumed innocent.